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IT’S A NEW MONTH! IT’S SUMMER! IT’S JUNE!

Oh, world, I have been in New York City for 11 months now. How time FLIIES! Actually this year has really felt like a year, it’s felt like 3 years in fact. But it’s only been 11 months. Good, very good.

Last night after work I headed over to Ripley Grier to scour the bulletin boards for contact info for seasoned headshot photographers. Gathered a pile of numbers/postcards/biz cards to look up right now (review these guys’ online portfolios)

I’m gonna do this, I’m gonna become a double threat. Dancer/actress.

Meeting Jennifer was the catalyst, the help, the push I needed, the start I needed to get.

I know I still have my OTHER goals to attend to:

• Hip Hop Dance Preservation Institute—always on my mind.
• BECOMING A GOOD DANCER. OF COURSE, ALWAYS! i’m just injured right now and can’t dance full-out. it gives me a chance to think about other things…
• getting thin. helps with both being a dancer & actress.

Also, I GOT the HB Studio scholarship. Going to take my first acting class this summer<3. Thank you, NAMI & Sergio for your letters/recommendations. Oh my goodness, it was due to them, my dear friends/teachers that I got the scholarship. See? You can’t do it by yourself…

So let’s go in order of the things I need to do to make this happen:

Step 1: Work on your craft. You can’t go out on auditions if you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. Although jumping right in does help you learn. Gotta be somewhat prepared, though, so June, July, August, I’m gonna train. Three months training sounds like a good start.

Step 2: SAVE ALL YOUR MONEY. I’m going to LA, folks. August actually I wanna train with Benny and then have ample time to go on auditions, etc. So if August I’m gonna be auditioning, that means,

Step 3: July—I gotta get headshots.

Headshot Research:

http://www.newyorkcityheadshotphotographer.com/faq/rates/ - 1 look, $250

http://www.dphelanphotography.com/- 3 looks, $200

I really like Chris Pollard but he’s $300. OKAY! Soooo the winner is Diane Phelan!!! She has a great website, too. Clean. Great bio, easily-found rates. Winner, winner, winner!!!!!!!

WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW:

• eat right
• save money
• make more money
• JULY! HEADSHOTS!
• keep studying the craft. read books in June<3

Ahhh okay now on to today’s tasks:

• hang out with Karlita
• rest knee
• clean room
• get mani/pedi
• get/read Hollywood books
• get mini success tracker notebook
• practice, however you can. even tho ur knee is busted.

ANNNND GO<3

one thing i feel like i’ve recently learned is—find true, good friends to better yourself with. find a rabbi—a teacher. stick with them, and stick by friends who truly care about you. i’m still finding these people in my life. one is sergio, one is lockerooo, one is NAMI, athena, john sydiongco, sal, mixd ingrdnts. teachers and friends who care about you and will help you. jardy question mark?

BUT FIRST take care of your family.

anyways, please please please please please let me have gotten the HB Studio scholarship please please please please please. it is step one in realizing the second half of my life.

the first half of my life is dance. dancing, dance scholarship. but i also need a job. i want to do acting work to support myself. then dance.

i still have a lot of work on HHDPI to do. AH anyways. here’s a good list of rules to live by that I’ve gathered from a few places

• wake up and do something productive for 10 minutes.
• write down and meditate on your goals (present, mid-term, future) DAILY.
• good habits = success. create rituals.
• stay happy/positive. happiness is a success advantage. think of three things daily that you’re thankful for
• use small time chunks to push big projects forward

anyways today i’m thankful for the same things. that my mother is alive and well, that i’m in new york—concrete jungle where dreams are made of. that i’m beautiful. hahaha i dunno.

#and go

this summer i need to work the hardest i have ever worked any summer of my life.

i am so angry right now. this is the last straw. all my straws have been pulled, i can’t anymore. i can’t.

friday, i’ve waited for you all week.

To do:

• truncate story for Athena, submit.
• e-mail all-women thingy X
• work on twins video
• laundry
• prep for long-ass day tomorrow (Peridance workstudy)
• mail cards, get thank you cards for Jason/Shelley
• other thing on your door

submitting HB Studio scholarship app now X and prepping convo topics for friend date. X

obsession du jour: juices/juicing

I did the BluePrint cleanse like last week. Shaved off 3-5lbs or something. Was feeling pretty sexy. It’s slowwwly coming back because it WAS essentially a fast, but now I’m more aware of what I’m eating. It was like pressing the Reset button on my diet.

I’m pretty OBSESSED with NYC’s Organic Avenue. Juices I’ve had from Organic Avenue:

• cashew hemp mylk (delicious)
• almond mylk (underwhelming)
• coconut mylk (one of the most delicious things I’ve ever tasted in my life)
• cafe latte (deeeelicious)
• ginger lemonade (good, feels detoxifying—good after last night :P)
• turmeric tonic
• Mellow Love (lots of green sh*t)
• orange dream smoothie (you had me at “anti-aging”)

Stuff I’ve eaten today:

1. 1 spring roll
2. 1 small leftover slice of pizza
3. few vanilla almonds
4. ginger lemonade
5. 2 sips of orange dream smoothie

That was my breakfast. For lunch I’ll have my Mellow Love, the rest of my orange dream smoothie, & large amounts of coffee with Tessie right before I go do workstudy. and then tonight I’ll have my turmeric tonic before i go to sleep.

juice cleanse day 3

survived day 2. got a bad headache in the early afternoon but drank water and it subsided.

woke up on day 3 even THINNER!

celebs must struggle so hard every day to be thin & beautiful.

you probably get used to it.

well today is my last day. i’m out of juices today, LOL. actually, Friday i’ll have 2 leftover juices. might drop some dollars at Organic Avenue to get a few more juices to continue the fast on Friday.

next paycheck I’ll get my own juicer, until then I’ll be eating lots of pineapples, berries, salad, and cucumber/cheddar/hummus sandwiches. can’t wait to eat sandwiches again<3.

appreciate so much how thin i am now that i may never eat cookies again :(

skinny > cookies.

juice cleanse day 2

Day 1: coconut water, green tea, 4 BPC juices. felt fine.

Day 2: woke up thinner. yay. oops Selda gave me some tamarind, I ate solid food, I forgot! :( it’s only 1pm. i’m kinda sluggish. WAKE UP NIK. also have a headache. is it from the tamarind??? nik feel bad.

okay all the stuff you wanted to do that you haven’t yet

in no particular order:

• build a website for HHDPI
• become a world traveller
• make a dance company of NYC elite
• get funding for this dance company
• help the OGs make vids jardy-style
• put on an all-girl show in NYC in May
• hold a Bay Area hiphop panel
• get 501(c)3 status for HHDPI

I was talking to somebody—I think it was Byron—he was telling me my ideas are perfect.

What’s harder, though, is execution. That’s what you need to really focus on now, Nik.

EXECUTE, EXECUTE, EXECUTE. All these ideas floating around in your head. No more ideas until you’ve executed SOME of these!!!!! >:O

absolutely IMMEDIATE goals:

1. stay alive
2. improve your skills
3. HHDPI a little day by day
4. acting classes.
5. green tea tip.

Do you want to go back to grad school, Nicole? Probably easier to get help, funding, etc etc for all your research. Ugh, okay.

6. PREP FOR GRAD SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAY BY DAY!

7. love.

8. pray for your mother.

[…and make a music video with sammi.]

[……and codify with lockeroo.]

[……………………ok thats it, frealz.]

Everything is subject to change.

Today made me realize how much harder I need to be working. Went to Tony McGregor’s class because Nunney is still in Russia. Tony worked our butts off, and I still don’t know how to freestyle house, and I was dancing amongst.

People. I IDOLIZE.

Pretty nuts. If you’re taking class alongside them, Nik, you need to be accomplishing at their level.

The pressure is. Further on.